There are barriers between us and the better us. Some of these barriers require a massive will to break them, and some of these barriers are really thin, yet they still stand unbreakable. When we are physically sick, we can reach the better us by going to a physician easily, but when we are psychologically sick –which is usually more dangerous– it is way too embarrassing to get better by visiting a psychologist. Thus, we remain sick.

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We lack social skills, and when it comes to the social skills between couples –especially young couples– the results are dreadful. Our young men get into marriage without bothering with going to lectures, reading books or even asking experienced couples about how a man should treat his woman. A friend of mine is almost getting married and whenever I encourage him to learn about it, he’s like “Maaan, just look at our fathers, they got married without any of this mess, and they’re living just fine!”

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They’re not living just fine, I mean look at you; you’re the greatest evidence of their failure. We are in a different age, back then they didn’t have something called The World Wide Web. Just because your father didn’t spend a minute in his life learning about marriage skills doesn’t mean he was right.

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There shouldn’t be any embarrassment in learning about how to treat your wife. If it was in my hands, I’d make a pre-marriage school, one cannot get his marriage license before finishing a couple of courses in how to be a husband.

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Two years ago, I was having a chat with this guy whom I think represents a large layer of guys in the way of thinking:-

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Him: *Yelling on the phone at a female in a slave-driver way*

Me: Is everything okay? (I asked when he was done)

Him: *Laughs* Yeah, it’s alright. It’s my “love”.

Me: …And is that how you talk to her?

Him: Let me tell you something that you will remember for the rest of your life: A woman is like a stamp, the more you step on her, the better it sticks.

Me: How about learning this for the rest of your life… Women are like a box of glasses, if you don’t handle them with care, they will break?

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I’ve been studying the vital points we miss out in our society when it comes to treating women, therefore I’ve concluded them in my third book:-

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Summarized in 10 important points:-

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1 ) Respect.

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2 ) Respect.

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3 ) Respect.

Seriously, treat her with respect! This woman is –or will be– the mother of your children, she’s not your slave. Don’t yell at her around, she got ears and she can hear even better than you. Remember, there is no better way to make a woman respect you than to show her respect.

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4 ) Treat her like a princess, but not like how you would treat your daughter.

A woman never wants to be neglected and always wants to feel that you care about her and pay attention to her, but not the “over-care” type that will make her feel like she’s your childish teenage daughter.

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5 ) Like a Shining Sword.

The more you care about it and sharpen it, the brighter and more beautiful it gets, just be careful not to overdo it or you’ll cut yourself.

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6 ) She needs a husband, not an extra kid.

Be considerate about her feelings, don’t just open the door and leave the house without giving any notice where you’re going or what you’re doing. Before you leave, tell her where you’re going, what for and ask if she needs anything. But don’t act like mommy’s little boy:-

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SMS Sent: Honey, I’m leaving the house.

SMS Sent: Sweetie, I just got in the car.

SMS Sent: I started on the engine.

Calling Wife: The car is moving.

SMS Sent: I arrived.

SMS Sent: I got out the car.

SMS Sent: Ops, I forgot my wallet in the car.

SMS Sent: Back to the car.

SMS Received: I hope you get locked inside and rot to death.

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7 ) Be a good listener.

Many have heard this a lot, yet only few who actually apply it. Unlike men, when a woman talks, the most important part for her is for the other side to listen, she doesn’t want you to find a solution but to hear her out. Not just smiling and nodding.

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8 ) Be thoughtful. Keep in mind, the value of the gift is not always in its price.

Occasion or no occasion, women love surprises.  Bring her a gift, a flower or open your heart and write her a letter. There are countless ways to surprise her, so be creative. In a woman’s brain, a predictable man is boring.

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9 ) Never, EVER, lay a finger on her.

Before everything, she’s a woman, and there is no single male who can call himself a “Man” if he tries to harm a lady. If things get really bad to the extent that she starts to get “rough” with you, bear in mind that a true man is he who tries to calm her down with words or by holding her. You’re the stronger sex after all, you’re supposed to handle a couple of girly slaps and punches… right…?

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10 ) Lastly, and most importantly, let her be your best friend.

Yes, your best friend! What’s better than having your best buddy with you at home whom you can tell about what happened with you throughout the day before you go to sleep? Have fun and share everything together! You can share the same hobbies and interests, enjoy talking about them and practicing them. If she likes to do activities you’re not fond of, accept them; who knows you might end up liking them!

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Marriage is like a ship that one cannot sail alone, you and your spouse need to co-operate in order to make things work out. Ignorance is what is causing these ships to sink. When a man enters a ‘Diwaneya’ and the other men there see how he treats his wife with passion, by being understanding and letting her be that partner and companion he needs on that ship, they start brainwashing him with false statements such as ‘Sikkanah Murta’ (A term used for a man whose being led by his wife). Know that it is these men who brag about how cruel they treat their wives and how they’re the supreme dictator leaders in their houses, are the ones who’re living under their own stone-brained statements they’re throwing at others. It is their feeling of inferiority, of not being able to have a word in their relationships, is creating the envy in their hearts: they cannot see another man happy with his wife and appreciating her partnership.

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P.S: Guys, you don’t need PhD’s in this. A woman is a mass of passionate feelings, if you’re able to move her emotions gently, she’s all yours. It’s that simple.

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Tags: Marriage, Men, P.S, Society, Women

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