Poor, poor Kuwaiti guys. Like any other men in this world, they have the B.C.C. (Biological Companionship Clock), and when they reach a certain age –depending on the man– the alarm goes off “I need a wife”, “I need a wife”, if he tries to ignore that alarm, it goes “NOW!”. At this point, this young lad has two options:-

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1- Tell his family about his need, get his family approval, look all over the country for a girl he can spend his life with, get her approval, get her family’s approval, her aunts’ approval, her uncles’ approval, her grandparents’ approval, their maid’s approval, the pizza man’s approval, then he has to: pay for her dowry, buy her a Shabka, buy her a diamond ring, pay for Princess Diana’s wedding, buy her a new car, buy her a new house, get her three extra maids, a driver, and then he has to: buy a new house to fit them all, buy a new car for the driver, and then start his life of “responsibilities”. ^[1]

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2- P.I.M.P. (Person Is Multi Player)

This kind of MultiPlaying is not anywhere near video games; it’s where the guy (the Player) plays around multiplications and multiplications of girls. Compared to a video game; however; choosing between option 1 and option 2 is like choosing the game’s difficulty of either Impossible Hard, or FM 92.5 Easy.

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Question: Why most guys in Kuwait are PIMPs?

Answer: It’s the easier path. (More explained at the end of the article).

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Let’s go through the first option and see why marriage procedures are almost impossible around here. I am a guy and I chose to play this “game” with the Hardest Difficulty:-

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Stage 1: Family:-

I need to convince my parents that I want to get married. If I’m in a classical new age Kuwaiti family, they will be following the “Get A Life Before A Wife” rule. They want me to finish my studies, get a job, make money and reach the “Ready for Marriage” level which will be after 5 to 6 years after my alarm went off. Try to feed an infant 6 years after he cried for milk. That’s one dead baby skeleton right there.

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Stage 2: Girl Hunting:-

This is where the mother joins the game, unless I got my eyes on a girl already. It is where the mother turns to an operator and calls random families to set “appointments” for me and the girl to meet. This is where I enter many houses, sit around many couches, and drink many orange juices as I speak to the girls. But this is not about the conversations or the juices I drink. It’s about the cake I eat. Yes, cake! How else you expect me to choose a girl if I didn’t like the cake served!? And how do you expect me to choose a girl if there was NO cake served in the first place!!?

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Stage 3: Her Family (Boss Fight):-

Let’s skip the long prologue about everyone’s approval and imagine… Her family finally approved, all right!

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Wait!

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Her father is moving his lips with words I don’t understand. What! What did he just say!?

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Oh…

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Never mind, I thought he asked too much money for the dowry, but he only asked for 30,000 Kuwaiti Dinars.

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How are you, uncle? I hope everything’s fine with you.

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I left their house and went straight to Shuwaikh, Behbehani Motors. I gazed at the shiny red Porsche Carrera 4S, and started comparing between this beauty and that beast. Should I spend the money on the family and refer to ^[1] , or should I spend it on this baby. I ended up with the following table:-

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From Table 1.1, we find out that the Carerra is greater than the Wife in almost everything, except the wife has more gears in the Transmission.

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Seriously, we reached a level where a man is only respected by how much coins he possess. Men are no longer judged by their ethics and principles but by their social class. We’re complaining about the increase of unmarried women and of men getting married at a very late age and we never looked at the causes and tried to fix ourselves. Parents keep increasing the dowry prices for their daughters as if each parent brags on who has the most expensive daughter. People, don’t treat your daughters like they’re some sort of business materials that you can buy and sell. They’re not items and this is not an auction. “The finest women are the ones with least dowries.” – Prophet Mohammad (PBUH)

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If you’re asking your sons to stay away from the Haram path, then what do you expect them to do all the way to 25~27 year old when no family is accepting them for their daughters? They’re men born with intense hormones and a passionate need for their mates. Do you expect them to stay pure and angelic until the family decides it’s finally the time?

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They’re not robots programmed to walk on the straight path careless about what’s going around them. If we’re happy about the way we’re living, then bless us. If we’re not, then let us remember that every social problem is created by the society itself; hence, the solution resides within.

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P.S: Naturally, I chose the Porsche.

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Tags: Marriage, Men, P.S, Society

This entry was posted on Friday, January 22nd, 2010 at 12:00 am and is filed under P.S. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.