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We all have a prototype “mum image” in our heads that for some reason nowadays has changed. My mum (aka mama, stay at home/ graceful mom, smells like baby powder, cooks, cleans and is physically able of crushing me into pieces when I misbehave).

.New mums (aka “your name” , works a lot of hours/super hot , smells like the new Dior , has a cook , cleans –her room- and is physically able of warning you with her index finger when you misbehave).

.I remember when I was a kid , my mum looked like that lady from the “Tide” ad , where she’d make me breakfast every morning before school , braid my hair (believe me that alone was a task) , iron my clothes , pack my lunch box and kiss me on the forehead before and after school even though I was all dirty. She’d ask me curious questions like “how was your day” despite being 5 with nothing better to do than learn how to count and scream twinkle twinkle. “May, did you eat your apple?” was usually a question that gave me some space to joke around with for example , “no I threw it on my teacher” or “I traded it for cigarettes at school”.

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I happen to be a very sarcastic person if you haven’t noticed and although I threw some mean comments her way just to get a chuckle out of it, my mom laughed at the jokes with me, knowing that I didn’t mean them in a bad way.

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Mum, the one person that can’t stay mad at you for more than a day (even when you pretend you’re not talking to her while you slam the door) and gives you this “I forgive you look” or lightens up your day when she starts to speak to you again.

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Mums back in the day took care of you till you were married with kids, always worried something bad would happen to you and so took the necessary precautions against it all, have your friends phone numbers (so that when you say you’re at Eman’s house studying she’d call Eman and double check) and rewarded you with a chocolate bar or a new Barbie doll whenever you did something of high importance (acing an exam for example).

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Remembering all that made me compare vintage mum to the 2010 model. The 2010 model features an essential accessory: the Nigerian nanny that bathes your baby, packs his lunchbox, kisses him goodnight and basically becomes you.

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This new model is widely spread and available all around us. With the 2010 model, you don’t have to worry about your children anymore because if anything happens to them, you have someone else to blame it on. The advantages of this model include saving your marriage from becoming a total disaster by throwing the responsibility on “nanny dearest”, lifting all the heavy weight off your shoulders, preventing post-partum depression or committing suicides (some women just lose it after giving birth), nanny is also considered a caddy (carries your baby, diaper bag and your bag too!), helps around the house and becomes a member of your family.

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But of course nothing is wholly good and that’s why the disadvantages include not being safe (who knows what‘s going on behind your back), risking bad influence on your children regarding religion, habits or sexuality (or even “niglish” vocabulary which is neither English nor Nigerian), your child might love his nanny more than he loves you because she becomes his primary care giver by spending more time with him and finally the nanny won’t understand your child’s needs more than you will.

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That’s not all what this fantastic model features! 2010 mum , is a shopaholic that goes crazy whenever she sees a RL bikini for her daughter ,buys  a cute little pair of Burberry baby sneakers when her baby poops in the potty (Barbie , Burberry notice the difference? Not big at all), or would kill for the latest LV bag that she later decides to turn into a diaper bag (for the nanny to carry of course).

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What happened to the overalls that came from Mother Care or Next, are they extinct?  What happened to that pillowy diaper bag that was so big that it could carry your own crib? What happened to the Egyptian nanny aka Dadda that would make you “halawa sandwiches” every morning, twice! (Bet you’re happy she’s gone.)

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I think the new generation of youngsters (including myself) is destined to become the 2010 model that is so consumed with brands and appearance to the extent that they forget that it doesn’t matter if my shirt has a plaid collar with that equestrian knight on it, but it matters that you wash it for me.

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It doesn’t matter to have a bathing suit with a large size man on a horse, but it matters that you swim with me. I don’t care if I have my own personal assistant because I won’t need one if you dedicate yourself to me.

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I’m not saying all the 2010 models are like that and I can’t judge because I’m not in their shoes , but what I can see while standing in my own pair is that the 2010 model should push itself to boundaries it couldn’t reach before and so making any task a simple one, just like vintage mum did.

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Who said vintage mum had it easy? Vintage mum gave up a lot and taught herself to become selfless the minute you were born but now 2010 mum only decides to become selfless while not commonly acting upon it.

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Here’s an inspirational quote that I’m sure no accessory would help you with it, only a mum would care to create a legend.  “My mother told me if you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope; instead, I was a painter and became Picasso.“
Pablo Picasso

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When man began communicating using words new horizons have been brought to his attention. Words formed sentences, sentences formed speeches, speeches formed a language and a language was a mean to communicate amongst mankind. It is a fact that there is no communication without purpose and purpose springs from minds and intentions forming actions or cease of actions. Hence we’ve formed our lives for life is nothing more than choices made to take an action or not to take an action. The need to communicate then developed to form more than a mere way of expressing purpose but changed into ways of expressing one’s self. Since then mankind has started distinguishing one who expresses his self adorably and one who brings disgrace to his own self by poor choice of words.

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Words grew with man to become its user. Sometimes words become a historian, wearing the robes of a storyteller, indulging us with tales and myths which may have or have not taken place along the path of history yet share the purpose of amusement and deliverance of a certain aim. Words also can disguise as poets, wearing the garment of a lover, a warrior or even a king, to bring to life implemented traits to he who reads them and here lies a secret hiding the reason behind the power of words.

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Words are infinitely devious yet fiercely honest. The power of words rest in the palm of those who produce them. Words can take you to a paradise of your own where no feet have ever tread but at the same time they can take away your freedom and imprison you where no eye can ever lay sight on you. Wounds of blades will heal over time but words cut beyond the repair of time.

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The power of words comes from their purpose. Words are meant to express, and in order to express, explain and spread knowledge we relate to experience within ones memory or common belief and by that we establish a direct bridge into the receiver’s mind facilitating the transition of thoughts and ideas amongst people. When communications are made, the role of the producer of words comes to shine. In order to achieve what he desires he has to deliver his thoughts and ideas as elegantly as he can for not only appearances charm but true allure lies within the delicately chosen words to please one who receives them. A beautifully said criticism is accepted more than a poorly constructed advice. In simple words, acquire what you desire, by giving what others fantasize.

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This idea has been utilized by countless people since the dawn of time to achieve their goals. Leaders built gardens of wonder in the air to direct the will of their people. Religious “figures” have bent the very fabric of faith and belief to their personal gain and to control the minds of blind followers. Religion and words are the easiest and most effective way to control masses of people in a short period of time. Many wars have been ignited and precious blood have been spilt for vain reasons in the name of faith and the might of tyrants.

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Words are a treasure to the eloquent poor sought by the inarticulate wealthy. The skill to tame words might be a talent in some cases but it can also be gained by practice. Extensive attempts fruit bountiful gains. In order to excel, walk the path of the excellent but avoid the pits in which they fell and when you have a firm grasp of their way, stray with your thought and words to an unpaved road as a first step which will be followed by those who seek what you sought. Hardship might befall you but like knights, we are honored by the wounds on our flesh and the dents in our armor.

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Summer time is upon us, use your time of leisure and surrender yourself to the seduction of the white paper. Let the ink of your pen be fueled from your soul and draw with your words upon the canvas of history the legend that is you. Vanquish the fear of mistake with the resonating cry of your words. “Leave no stone unturned” Let innovation be your stone. Always remember that practice breeds perfection but dwell not beyond the borders of ethics so that once you triumph in your journey you regret nothing that led you to glory.

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No matter how hard you study, as soon as you sit on that desk you feel like you forgot everything you studied, and start doubting “Maybe I didn’t study enough.” “What if I focused on that chapter more?” “I should have studied more!”.

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Do you know why you couldn’t study enough? Let’s rewind time to the few days before the exam and analyze what happens…

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Three days before the exam:-

You think that you got three whole days to study, the exam is way too far: lie back and relax.

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Two days before the exam:-

You think that you need to get serious now and study, so you get your notes ready, your pens and pencils, and sit in the studying position on your desk with a fiery aura coming out of your ambitious determined eyes. Eyes that make mountains tremble. You open at the first page…

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“Bah.”

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Enough for today, continue tomorrow.

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One day before the exam:-

This is the time where you start freaking out, and study out of freakery. I believe that freakery is the strongest motivation to study, a student’s best friend.

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The thing is, it is only in days of exams that you start discovering your hidden talents. While studying, you realize how much of a great artist you are with all the doodles you’ve drawn that you suddenly want to draw everything, your amazing skill in writing poems: you get to write the most sad and romantic poems you’ve ever read, or your sudden passion for origami.

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It is during studying that you start noticing the little details in your room which you never witnessed before, find out how it is peaceful to gaze at the ceiling or studying the movement and the fascinating behavior of ants, start reading books that you never really cared about and forgot they still survive in your bookshelf, stare and meditate at your body: the curves and lines of your hand, the painting of your fingerprints, or think in the wonder of your bellybutton. Speaking of the bellybutton, while studying Electronics, I discovered that a bellybutton is a faulty button, because when you press it nothing happens.

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Sometimes you try to get more social, scroll through your phone’s contact list and start calling people who were always in your phone, and stayed there.

“Hello there! Long time no talk! How’ve you been do-ing?”

“…Um, hello. What’s up with the sudden call?”

“Nothing, just thought about checking up on you and saying hi.”

“Do you have an exam tomorrow?”

“…Yes.”

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When you’re watching a movie, you make sure that you have everything around you, food, drinks, and the trash can so you don’t move anywhere, but if you’re studying and you remember that you’re thirsty, you stand up and go all the way to the fridge, get a bottle, go back, drink it (and it is the only time that you start tasting water, enjoying it the slowest you can), and then walk around the house trying to find the farthest trash can to throw it in.

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“You can now begin answering the questions.”

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The chain of regrets start here…

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P.S: And that is what pushes students to do this:-

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I’m no expert in fashion, but hell I know jokers when I see them:-

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1 )  Glow In The Dark Project.

Fluorescent yellow (read: EXTREMELY bright yellow) shirt, pants, shoes, nail polish, blackberry cover… you’ve got to be kidding me. It hurts your eyes just looking at that glowing creature!

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2 ) Samurai Pants

I know… right?

Some girls are happy walking around like escapees from a bad Kendo club. 75% of the body pants!?

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3 ) Ali Baba Trend

These pants are similar to the samurai pants except that they’re tight by the ankles, for more info, refer to the guards chasing after Aladdin.

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4 ) The Cannibals

What’s with the piercings all over the face? Filling ears with jewelry that you can’t even see the ears or piercing the nose, two nostrils are not enough to breathe properly?

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5 ) The BBM ( Big Business Men)

An important part of their fashion is carrying their blackberries in a colored strap on their necks. Do they love their phones so much that they keep them close to their hearts? Or are they so important that they’re expecting business any second? If so, how about hiring a secretary to the carry the phone for you?

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I know I’d love one:-

“You, where is my phone?”

“Here, mastaa!”

“Pay attention for important BBMs.”

“Yes, mastaa!”

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6 ) Wrong Place, The Wrong Time

Rain boots are for rainy days, Uggs are for snow. Do you see someone walking around with a raincoat for dust?

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7 ) Men in Tights

As soon as they build a muscle or two, they buy the tightest clothes available, too tight that you can see the hair of their bodies under the clothes. Of course, those clothes are decorated with all the good shiny and glittery designs.

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8 ) Lost Horses

High heels for university? Come on, are you studying or modeling? The burning love for making noises in the hallways, eh?

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9 ) Leggings Are NOT Pants

Girls, please, spread thy message to thee. Okay they are worn on the legs, but they are NOT PANTS, nor act a substitute. Imagine a guy wearing a Mkassar to a mall (The “pants” worn under the Dishdasha).

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10 ) Feminine Men, Manly Women

Men clothes are meant for men, women clothes are for women. Girls dressing up as men (and vice versa) are not cute, cool, womanly, or manly, they are a new breed. Even animals have males and females only, but are humans so special that they need to create new genders?

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When people do not pick their clothes or choose their fashion, they just look around them and copy: walking mirrors; and just like when you put two mirrors facing each other, you’re going to see the reflection gets smaller and smaller till can’t see the end of it.

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Great independent personalities.

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Some don’t even know what they’re wearing:-

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Miss Independent: Hey, let’s enter that Juisay Cushair shop!

Girl 2: You mean Juicy Couture? Why?

Miss Independent: The other girls wear it, it’s the new trend.

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She leaves the shop wearing a training suit with the word ‘Juicy’ written on two famous places without having a slight idea what the brains that word means. Supposedly that she doesn’t know the meaning of the word, I’m pretty sure she realizes the places of that word and being all sparkling and “Looky here”.

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Miss Independent: Huff! Men will always be men! Respect me as a girl and look me in the eyes!

Girl 2: Oh, really? Perhaps if you lift your advertisements up a bit they’ll start noticing your face.

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Talking about guys’ fashion is hard. I don’t see styles, I see one style; I don’t see guys, I see one guy. Ray-Ban sunglasses, Polo shirt, shorts, sandals. If I was a stranger I’ll think why I keep bumping into this guy everywhere I go?

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P.S: “Are you still carrying the phone?”

………“Yes, mastaa!”

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Like every other day, the sun took its rightful place in the sky pulling the blanket of darkness and calling people to enjoy its warmth but it wasn’t for long as the wind dragged clouds to stand between the sun and the eager sun flowers on the far end of the park. Rain started shaking the earth and people started hiding and cars were wiping away rain like a girl wiping her shy tears and in the midst of all the movements and attempts to hide from the rain a steady gaze of a hunter follows the footsteps of its prey. A small rabbit stretches its head out of a hole testing both the air and the strength of his courage to cross the field of roses to his home as he smells danger in the air. The danger of a soaring hawk , splitting the drops of rain with his mighty wings. Rain could be an obstacle from the spectacles of work and education as it could stop people from getting to their destinations but it didn’t stop the CEO from visiting his spot on the bridge but this time his car was parked at home. Sharply dressed and soaking wet he stands on the slippery ledge neglecting the horns behind him. He gazes at the river but with fresh eyes this time. He sees how the river stood the test of time and endured the vast and ferocious attacks of civilization yet it triumphed and stood proud dividing the beautiful crying city. He realized that even if he was alone, he shouldn’t give up to his loneliness and be strong like the river, by that he allows others to witness his strength and aspire to be like him and gather around him .At that moment he had the epiphany that would change the course of his life. Ignoring the angry people going out of their cars to see what is the reason behind the delay until there were more people out of their cars than in them. The rabbit leaps out from under the bush towards his home; it almost could smell the warmth of his home. The CEO starts to rearrange his priorities and tries to  take a step back when a cold hand slowly yet firmly gave the CEO the momentum he didn’t need any more to take the leap and fall down into the deadly embrace of a raging river just as the deadly talons of the hawk snatched the rabbit from the grasp of safety . Like the weep of a sad mother the splash of water sounded while the lips of the culprit let out :”It is done. I fulfilled my contract and your father is another fish bait now. I’ll leave that wretched hotel and be rid of that babbling yet useful secretary of his. He knows nothing he will confirm that he was a man with suicidal intents. I expect my payment to be in my account by tonight and by that we end our deal and never contact each other again”.

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Written by: Bader

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I’ve been really busy lately with a lot of things, and college has been very mean to me… I won’t be able to stick to writing in weekly basis, so I’m going to try and post a new article whenever I can, but unlike before, there won’t be a certain time and day for the post.

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Wish me luck!

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Kindest regards,

Kazeh

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I fought in a great war. The grand battle between me, my warm blanket and the cold room temperature. And my comfy pillow wasn’t helping, it’s like it had invisible hands, every time I try to lift up my head, her caring hands pull me gently back to her, I could almost hear her whispering:”Come…come…baby…” And every time I try to escape the blanket, the cold outside my bed world whispers: “Sleeeep… Sleeeep…”

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I won.

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I told my pillow I’m not your baby, I slapped my blanket and threw it away because he was getting too close that it was getting creepy, and I told my room’s cold temperature to shut up and killed it by turning the air conditioning panel to OFF.

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I survived The Great War.

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I dressed up, and went to get the breakfast meal. The Sambousa, Fool and Falafel are very important in this meal, and for this very special day, I made sure to get the highest quality of Fool that I could get.

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I went back home, prepared breakfast, and put the Fool on a very special dish. My mother was happy when she came down and found everything prepared for her.

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Mother: Wow! This Fool looks delicious!

Kazeh: Of course it is, this is not any Fool. This is April’s Fool.

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As we were eating, I was reading through the newspapers:-

• “Kuwait Towers are being moved to Um El Naml (The Mother of Ants. Don’t ask — that’s the area’s name).”
• “Each Kuwaiti over 120 years old is getting 5,000 Kuwaiti Dinars.”
• “360 Mall’s name is being changed to 180 because half of the mall was destroyed in The Great War.”

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I didn’t believe anything I was reading, because I know that three days from now they’ll announce “Hahaha… April’s Fool… Hahaha…”

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Hahaha…

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It’s not funny.

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The only two fools I know is the Fool we are eating now, and the Fool you made out of yourself. What I am understanding here is that lying is bad, but on the first of April lying is totally fine because it’s not lying it is April Fooling. Lying is lying, people, days has nothing to do with it. It’s like when you ask someone why did you lie he’s like “No, no! It was a white lie.”

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What white lie…? It’s not chocolate. And since when lies have colors? You think pink lies are cute? Or do lies have grades now? White lie, orange lie, purple lie, brown lie, black lie, and then what? First Dan lie?

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A lie is a lie and I’m pretty sure it has no color, smell or taste. It is only the liar who reeks of stench.

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Lying always leads to bigger problems and lower scandals. Take one cheating over his/her spouse for instance, cheating at all times starts with a lie to hide it and ends with a lie to cover it. But like we say in Kuwaiti here, “The rope of lying is short”.

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Question: Ever wondered why you can say “Lies” but you can’t say “Truths”?

Answer: Because no matter how many lies there are, one truth only lies within lies.

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Now someone is going to send me an email quoting me “One truth only lies within lies.” — Ah huh! See! Even the truth lies!

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P.S: Can’t wait for next month – May’s Falafel!

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Regards,

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Abundant are the stories of heartbroken young men, seeking their dream of making a family in the right way by the blessing of God and few are the reasons which broke their hearts. These days, marriage has become nothing short of a business deal. The other party is chosen not by the one of interest but by the current guardians only the property on demand is the actual person of interest. In simple words, parents choose for their daughters and their sons the person which they are going to spend every single day with until the end of their human lives. “Until death do us part” sounds like a long period of time, and it is even longer when you spend it with the wrong person.

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Let’s take a quick review on the aspects of judging a person by most of the modern families. First and foremost, money. How much is that person worth in currency is one of the best reasons to entrust the fruit of their loins with. The second reason is family name. Being a member that is known for their virtue has took its rightful place among the rest of our principles. The last aspect though not as common as the first two is being of the same family as their bride/husband to be.

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The haze of superficial matters has engulfed the minds of a once great nation. A person should be measured first by his virtue and strength of his faith and belief. That aspect should never come second to any other aspect. If a person is pure of heart and strong in faith, nothing shall interrupt the perfect flow of his thought and actions. Second, his ability to support his family not his ability to drown them under piles of easily earned money. As we know, wealth is a gift from God and without someone who earns his money the right way, this grace could vanish and nest on someone else’s tree. Lastly, when the man is good enough to qualify the religious measures, the decision rests in the hands of the woman. If she finds him a man fit to be her companion in the hardship and joy to come, God shall bless their steps through this life to the next.

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Rules originated from our religious beliefs are the best rules to follow when it comes to marriage. Religion is a symbol of spirituality and having faith beyond the physical realm, and that is what we should rely on when want to choose the partners of our lives. The material world is bound to vanish and no matter how much we’re attached to it, nothing will remain in this whole world but our ethics and the way we lived life with others. When we join two persons on a good foundation, we allow this foundation to hold a monument of a good life which will endow the core of decency in the hearts of a much needed better next generations. Trust not what is subject to change, but entrust your faith with the pure of soul. Judge not by how glittery and shiny someone’s garment is but let the transparency of virtuous actions show you the truth beyond the smoke of lies.

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You are invited to join Kazeh and take part in a unique English poetry night in Kuwait hosted by AWARE center. Kazeh will be reciting a selection of his poems; some you’ve read before in his previous books, and new poems that will be recited exclusively for this event.

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Limited seats – First arrive first serve.

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Hope to see you there!

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For more information about AWARE: www.aware.com.kw

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